Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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