she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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