I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
operation harelip BJ is a go
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
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