how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
True college students do jello shots in the library
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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