Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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