Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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