Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
All the doctor said was why
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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