Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
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I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
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Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
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