K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
She announced her abortion via fbk
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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