Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
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