I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
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I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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