Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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