I wish I could teleport
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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