did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
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I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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