fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
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By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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