What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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