Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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