Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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