Already got asked if we're dating
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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