I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize