wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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