hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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