There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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