i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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