Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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