Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
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WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
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Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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