I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
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I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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