woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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