Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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