i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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