So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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