I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize