I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
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Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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