its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
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From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
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It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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