I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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