i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize