I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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