The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Randomize