hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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