Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize