Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize