Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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