Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize