How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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