apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
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I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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