Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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