Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You ruined the universe
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize