So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize