I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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