i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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